


Trouble always comes in threes

by ariadne83, somehowunbroken



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Drinking & Talking, F/F, F/M, Gen, Jossed, M/M, Past Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-20
Updated: 2013-11-20
Packaged: 2018-01-02 03:13:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1051857
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariadne83/pseuds/ariadne83, https://archiveofourown.org/users/somehowunbroken/pseuds/somehowunbroken
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Grant Ward has a tenuous relationship with the truth, and Skye is an angry momma bear if you mess with her people</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trouble always comes in threes

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers up to but NOT including episode 1x08 of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D

“So. I lied about my family,” Ward says as he slips onto the seat next to Skye at the bar.

“No kidding,” Skye snaps back, but she still pours him a drink. “And because of your lie I tasered an Avenger. Go team.” She clinks her glass against his, downs her shot, and pours another.

Ward copies her and holds out his glass for a refill. He downs it as soon as she’s done pouring, and takes the bottle from her. “Most of what I said was true, but I wasn’t the middle brother, the protector.” He pours a double shot, but he just holds the glass, rolling it between his hands.

“You were the teeny-tiny little one,” Skye says, staring at him like his secrets are written all over his face; if only she had the right code to read them.

Ward grimaces. “I wasn’t _that_ little.”

“Agent Barton probably has pictures of you at Halloween, circa 1993-”

“OK, so I was,” Ward cuts in. “I was the half-brother neither of them liked all that much.”

“And you lied to me so you’d seem ‘more macho in front of a woman’,” Skye quotes. Truth serum rocks, of this she is certain. “So technically it’s your fault your brother got zapped.”

“He’ll get over it. Even Thor got tased when he first showed up,” Coulson says as he takes a seat to Skye’s right and reaches for the bottle. “Besides, it’s nothing compared to a kick to the head from Agent Romanoff.”

“Hey, A.C. Sorry for ruining your booty call.”

She timed it perfectly; to her left Ward chokes on his drink.

“Booty what now?” he rasps.

Coulson sighs and pours himself a generous drink. “Thank you, Skye. I'm sure that's exactly how Clint wanted to come out to his younger brother.”

“Oops,” Skye says into her glass. 

“Oh please,” May scoffs, joining them at the bar. “As if Hawkeye was hiding anything in that costume. Two hundred pounds of man in a costume meant to hold a hundred and fifty.”

Coulson smirks, says, "That's my favorite thing about it," and sips his drink.

Ward leans across Skye to steal the bottle back from him, tops up his glass, and downs it. And tops it up again.

"Whoa, slow down, cowboy." Skye pries the bottle from his hand and passes it to May, where he conveniently can’t reach.

"I am not having this conversation sober. That's my _brother_ ," Ward whines.

Skye exchanges glances with May, who has a hint of a smile and a drink of her own. _Oh my god, he’s a real boy_ , Skye mouths.

Ward lays his head on the bar. "My boss is screwing my brother."

"Hey, maybe your brother is screwing your boss! Does that help?" Skye asks brightly. She could swear she hears May let out a huff of laughter, but when she looks over the woman’s face is blank. 

Ward whimpers. Skye pats his shoulder. "Hey, you can't help having a hot brother."

He whimpers again.

"What did we miss?" Simmons says as she an Fitz join the impromptu party.

Skye sees May turn to them and raise an eyebrow. "A couple of buttons."

Fitz turns red. Simmons just beams.

Ward rolls his head to the side to look at them, and then frowns. "What the hell? Why is everyone getting laid except me?"

Simmons points at him. “Who broke the robot?”

"Ward found out he's not the hot brother," Skye stage whispers. "He's not taking it well."

"Oh!" Simmons says brightly. "Is that his brother unconscious in the medical bay?"

"Hot, right?"

"But spoken for," Coulson adds. He’s taking all this pretty well, but then he’s worked with Tony Stark a lot. He’s probably immune to embarrassment.

"Right, Ward also found out that his brother is sleeping with his boss," Skye clarifies.

Fitz shrugs. "It happens."

Simmons elbows him. "I tried to warn you about bringing your sister to the Christmas party, but no."

Fitz rolls his eyes. "She got the looks, I got the brains. I think it's a fair trade."

“Waiting until she was eighteen to go to university doesn’t make her an idiot, Fitz.” Then she stops, and narrows her eyes. “Hang on a minute. He's sleeping with- Oh, well done!" She steps forward and pats Coulson on the back.

May snorts; there’s no mistaking it this time. She’s laughing on the inside, Skye’s sure of it.

"Thank you, Jemma," Coulson replies, raising his glass.

Ward sighs. "I hate my life."

"Come now, there's no need to be jealous," Fitz says brightly. "One day your prince will come."

"I don't - what?" Ward reaches out a hand and grasps at empty air, like he can make the bottle appear through force of will.

"Or princess," Simmons adds. "Your royalty of choice, really."

"Did someone get the number of that bus?" a raspy voice cuts in. 

Skye spins on her chair. "Oh look, the hot one's awake!"

"Oh look, the lady with the taser is on the loose," Barton replies warily.

He gives Skye a wide berth, squeezing himself between Coulson and May and wrapping an arm around each of them. "How are my two favorite people off earth?"

"I'm right here," Ward complains

"Well spotted! Yes you are. And right now you're not even in my top five. What were you thinking, Grant?"

"He was trying to look tough in front of me," Skye says helpfully. 

Barton just nods. “Figures.”

"Hey! No! No stealing my rookie!" Ward snaps.

"Oh, so you're the one who gave her a taser." Barton somehow looks even more cranky than he did already.

"No! I came with my own taser."

"Well isn't that just peachy," Barton says, turning to Coulson. "Now there are two of them."

"I'll do my level best to ensure she and Darcy never meet."

Barton snorts and reaches for Coulson's glass, but May slaps his hand away.

"Potential concussion. You hit the deck pretty hard."

"Yeah, because _somebody_ didn't catch me," Barton grumbles.

"Oh come on! You weigh two hundred pounds even without the leather fetish gear!" Ward blurts out.

Barton smiles. It’s kind of terrifying. "You want to talk about fetishes, little bro? Because-"

"No no NO NO NO."

"I don't mind talking about fetishes," Skye pipes up.

"Same here," Simmons agrees.

"I think that's my cue to put the patient to bed," Coulson says, downing the last of his drink and standing up.

"Please come back out after you do," Ward begs.

Coulson smiles benignly. "That would be neglectful."

Barton waggles his eyebrows. "He needs to keep me awake allllll night."

"I hate you so much."

"I love you too, baby bro." Barton leans in and kisses May on the cheek. "Good to see you, Mel."

"Tell Tasha I miss her." May’s voice is soft and wistful. There’s a Story there, and Skye is suddenly desperate to play Lois Lane.

"Yes ma'am," Barton replies. 

"And drop the 'ma'am' before I spank you."

He grins cheekily. "Yes, _ma'am_." His leather pants make a resounding cracking noise when her palm hits his ass. 

Simmons giggles. "Well, you did warn him."

"And now I'm suitably chastised," Barton adds. "Good night, kids."

Ward flips him off. 

“How much has he had to drink?” Fitz says incredulously. 

“Not enough,” Ward mumbles. “There isn’t enough booze in the world.”

THE END


End file.
